Paedophilia: a Christian and political response

Introduction

I guess not many people have, but I’ve read a book about paedophilia.  

Recently, while researching for a debate on prostitution, I read quite a few books about sex work.  When people saw such books on my desk or in my hand, a joke or two was usually followed by interested questions.    But reading a book on paedophilia was different.  I’ve never read a book before that made me want to conceal the title when carrying it around or reading it in public.  That’s an indication of how sensitive a topic this is, and possibly why so few people seem to engage with it in a thoughtful manner.

The book I read presented and analysed the findings of a small research project in the UK that involved making contact with paedophiles anonymously online through paedophile websites, and surveying them.  The sample was quite small and there is very little similar research available.  Beware the man of one book, and the survey with a self-selecting small sample, so everything I report hear is open to challenge or correction.  I’m no expert in this area, and don’t intend to become one, but I’ve got some thoughts to offer from a Christian perspective. 

A Sexual Orientation

Adult sexual attraction to children is a sexual orientation.   Some people might object to that classification, but it seems clear to me.  Through adolescence, sexual attraction should develop for post pubescent members of the opposite sex.  In some cases, for whatever reasons, other sexual attractions develop instead.  About 2% of adult males experience a primary sexual attraction to children, with women at only about a tenth of that figure.   There are about the same number of paedophiles as homosexual men.

Various biological factors might play a part in paedophilia developing, but this research found that early sexual experiences, from as early as 6 or 7 years old, were commonly reported by paedophiles.  These did not even always involve anyone else, for example starting to masturbate.  The “innocence of childhood” is now often dismissed as prudery or repression, while sex educators campaign to be ever more explicit at ever earlier ages.  Having looked at this research, I regard the failure to insulate children from sexualisation as irresponsible in the extreme.  Sexualised “play” by young children is not harmless “because they don’t really understand”.  Protecting children from exposure to pornography is also crucial.  Easier said than done, so there seems to be a good reason to expect the incidence of paedophilia to increase as the mobile internet access generation grow up.

Paedophiles generally reported an era of confusion while their sexual attraction became clear.  They usually wished it would go away, but it didn’t.  They reported feelings of isolation, lack of support and anxiety about being discovered or about the possibility that they might abuse children in the future.  Of course, the stresses induced by these factors were usually huge, with varied serious health and practical problems ensuing.   Stigma is too mild a word to describe the social rejection and isolation that paedophiles fear if their orientation becomes known.  Some confide in family of friends, with mixed responses, from acceptance to complete rejection.

As a Christian, I do not regard sexual desires as self-vindicating and believe that sexual activity outside heterosexual marriage is outside God’s intention for sex, and is therefore sinful and harmful to the individuals involved, to some individuals not directly involved, and wider society.  On this view, those with sexual attractions that lead them in other directions are morally required to refrain from expressing or indulging these desires.  I do not overlook the personal struggles and pain involved in this, but believe that it is ultimately to the benefit of the person concerned. 

That’s standard Christian teaching on homosexuality, but it applies equally to paedophilia.  Of course many don’t share this perspective on sexuality, but have other valid reasons to demand celibacy of paedophiles, relating to the inability of children to give informed consent to sex, the physical and emotional risks to children from such sexual encounters, as well as an often ill-defined but passionate moral revulsion.  Those who argue that asking someone to exercise total self control over their sexual desires is unreasonable clearly have not fully thought through their position.  

Many of the paedophiles surveyed reported a phase of trying to refrain from acting on their desires in any way, usually involving a struggle to stop using child pornography, or to stop masturbating to child images or fantasies.  The usual story was that they eventually realised the futility of such resistance and now routinely engage in such activities, reporting a new found freedom and equilibrium now that the battle was over.  This was very sad.  You only realise what grip a sin has on you when you try to stop.  Surrender is an easier option in some ways, but the longer term consequences are not good.

Of course, we can only speculate how many paedophiles do succeed in refraining from any activity relating to their sexual desires.  They would not appear in this research as they would not be frequenting the sort of websites from which the sample was drawn.  Their experiences and positive example could be a great resource and encouragement to others, and they could even provide personal support.  There are projects that try to facilitate just this sort of support, for example a church initiative in Canada.    

Many paedophiles don’t know where to turn for advice and support, and the gravity of disclosing their orientation to anyone deters them from exploring mainstream avenues of support.  So they turn to the internet.  There are many legal websites that host discussion between paedophiles, and some support and empathy can be found there.  However, the option of abstinence from all sexualised activity relating to children is virtually unrepresented. 

Identity

Many paedophiles describe their primary identity as being a paedophile.  I have often pondered the tendency of gay people to base their core identity on their sexuality, and the similar phenomenon among paedophiles seems even more strange.  Why would anyone want to regard an often unwanted and stigmatised feature of their psyche as yielding their fundamental identity?  I have started to wonder whether part of the function of sex is to cement a sense of identity, as well as its emotional bonding effect.  Does heterosexual sex within marriage strengthen a man’s identity as a husband and possibly father?  It would seem to make sense if it did, and, as a believer in God’s wise design, I’m open to that possibility.  I don’t know how this hypothesis could be researched.

In the case of homosexuals and paedophiles, could it be that their sexual experiences trigger the same identity reinforcing effect, producing their self identification primarily as homosexual or a paedophile?     

Discussion among Paedophiles

Debate in the “paedophile community” rages over where to draw the line, and covers every imaginable view apart from what Christian teaching would propose: that even lustful thoughts are sinful.  The discussion is about how to play with fire without getting burned. 

Many paedophiles report that they experience romantic feelings towards children, wanting to be in their company and desiring social interaction.   Some paedophiles speak of their great relationships with children and fear that one day they might spoil it by introducing a sexual dimension.  It was notable that these feelings tended not to be individuated, being equally fulfilled by different children or groups of children.  Some argue that seeking interaction with children in order to fulfil this desire is harmless as long as no sexual element creeps in, but surely pursuing such a “romantic” relationship aware that there is an element of sexual desire present as well is surely irresponsible as there will be a risk that powerful sexual drives might take over at some point, at some opportunity.  It is also immoral to use the children for such selfish ends, entering into an asymmetrical relationship where the adult’s true feelings and motives are concealed.

What about the paedophile who is not indulging his sexual attraction to children in any way?  Should they avoid working with or interacting with children?  Can the pleasure being with children gives them ever be entirely innocent?  We accept that a heterosexual male teacher, for example, might well be sexually attracted to female sixth form students, but we are happy to assume that the teacher can control his actions and refrain from entering into an inappropriate relationship with such a student.  Would alarm bells ring if said teacher stated that he wanted to teach in a girls’ sixth form college because he enjoys working with teenage girls?   Do we not usually assume that a person can separate any sexual attraction from the other rewards of interaction?   

I haven’t got an answer here.  Is paedophilia uniquely irresistible?  Does the impossibility of other legal opportunities to fulfil one’s sexual desires make paedophiles uniquely prone to transgressing professional boundaries?  Is there a grey area between a fully abstaining paedophile and a person who just loves to be with children?  I think a man using child pornography or fantasising sexually about children should keep and be kept well clear of children, but what about a male teacher using adult heterosexual porn?  Should he be excluded from access to teenage girls?  Paedophiles, like everyone else, should certainly take very seriously their responsibility to protect children and avoid exposing them to the risk of abuse. 

It would be sad if men who enjoy working with and spending time with children routinely come under tacit suspicion of paedophilia and therefore felt the need to show less interest in them and to interact less.  

Pornography is then the next issue.  Some paedophiles believe, or at least claim to believe, that child pornography does not necessarily harm the children involved, as long as they consent and do not find the experience traumatic.   This usually reflects their views about sex with children in general, that it can be consenting and non-abusive.  I will deal with this issue later. 

Others agree that the production of child pornography is immoral and amounts to child abuse, but argue that once it’s made, viewing it does no further harm, as long as you don’t pay for it or trigger advertising revue etc.   There is a grain of truth in this, but the negative effects on the viewer and likelihood of encouraging the production of further child porn in the future are overlooked.      

Others argue that using non-pornographic photographs of children for sexual fantasising is acceptable, while others restrict themselves to simulated pornography: explicit cartoons images and films.   The author of the book, who describes herself as a Christian, supports the use of such simulated pornography as an ethically acceptable outlet for paedophilic desires.  But obviously such indulgence of lust can serve to fuel, not satisfy, it, as with all forms of pornography.  It leads to the exploration of further types once the original form fails to deliver its previous level of stimulation.   There is also the moral dimension as well.  Well meaning academics advising paedophiles to use cartoon child pornography is symptomatic of our society’s utter confusion about sex.

Next comes the issue of actual sexual contact with children.  Of course, people are wary of admitting to criminal behaviour, but fairly frank expression is given to a range of views.  Many paedophiles are adamant that they will never abuse a child, but others arrive at a state of self delusion in which they believe, despite the mountain of evidence of the damage done to victims, that adult – child sex can be genuinely consensual, mutually beneficial and “liberating” for the child.  On this basis, some call for changes to the law while claiming to be law abiding currently.  Again, our society, which fails to appreciate the value and meaning of sex, is fertile ground for such views.  If sex is just about a pleasure reaction to bodily stimulation, what’s the big deal?

The impossibility of long-term commitment in an adult child sexual relationship, because when the child matures the adult will cease to find them attractive, means that an adult-child sexual relationship can only be temporary.   This consideration does not seem to enter into the discussion at all.  

Christian Response

Christians upholding the Biblical ideals of sexual relationships have long since learned to distinguish between homosexual orientation and action, and to recognise the challenges faced by homosexuals seeking to adhere to God’s standards, and to show compassion.  The same distinctions need to made between paedophiles – those experiencing sexual attraction to children, and child abusers – those who engage in sexual activity with children.  Paedophiles need support, with confidentiality.

There must be many Christians struggling in silence with this.  They also need good advice from a Biblical perspective and possibly even an online Christian community of people facing the same issues.  There are probably testimonies of God’s transforming power at work in people dealing with paedophilia, but we don’t hear them.  It’s a complex and sensitive area for churches to address, but perhaps God will envision someone to begin a project in Britain or Scotland?

Some paedophiles yearn for the day when paedophilia is de-stigmatised.  I don’t see how this can happen without diluting the healthy moral revulsion that currently exists in our society.  Effectively saying “I desire to engage in sexual acts with children,” whether there is an intention to or not, cannot be de-stigmatised.  I don’t think paedophiles should want to “come out”, but they should feel able to seek support.    On the other hand, stories of overcoming paedophilia in various ways could be helpful.  There is clearly a tension here, and I don’t claim to be able to resolve it.    

The child abuser is a hate figure in our culture, beyond the pale of humanity, facing even the wrath of fellow prisoners.  Of course we see child sexual abuse as a grave sin, causing great harm to the victim, but, on the other side of the coin is a life overtaken and destroyed by a perverted addiction.  God’s comfort and healing can be offered to victims, and God’s grace can be offered to the abusers.  Never must we succumb to self righteous superiority, blithely assuming that we would have done differently had we been dealt that hand.

While our society retains a moral revulsion to adult – child sexual activity, the vocabulary and argument structure to justify it is ready and waiting in our secular liberal relativistic culture.   How long before paedophiles join the array of groups in the mainstream arena of politics and the media demanding respect, equal rights, destigmatisation, non-judgemental treatment and the right to express their sexuality?  With its impoverished view of sex, our culture lacks the intellectual resources to resist such a campaign.  While such a campaign now would be dismissed by mainstream society as outrageous, an increasing number of radicals will begin to express their support in years to come and the moral indignation will start to be cast as reactionary and “Victorian”.  While opponents of adult child sex will be regarded as outdated, campaigners will cite the “enlightened” approaches in the ancient world as evidence for the natural and harmless nature of their activities.

Conclusion

To reduce the incidence of paedophilia developing, we should resist the sexualisation of childhood and maintain the sexual innocence of children as a vital principle.  

To prevent paedophilia leading to child abuse, accessible and wise support needs to be available to paedophiles.  Purity of heart is the only place to draw the line, and this view needs to be promoted.

The one area where there has been great progress in recent decades is in strategies to stop child abusers abusing again.  We should support the Child Protection measures that ensure that issues are taken seriously and that victims can speak up freely.

The church needs to speak clearly on this moral issue. 

I really don’t know how much support and ministry is offered to paedophiles already through the church.  Considering the accounts of men pushed to the point of suicide as they struggle to come to terms with their orientation, churches and Christian organisations should be seen as places to turn for confidential support.   The tensions for any church deciding to publicise its availability to support and counsel paedophiles would be considerable.  How would parents feel about their church attracting paedophiles?

Again, I haven’t got answers or a particular calling to pursue this form of ministry myself, but there are many people struggling and depressed, in danger of being drawn down a road of perverted addiction that could destroy their lives and those of their potential victims.  If the message of God’s grace and the transforming power of the Holy Spirit is needed anywhere, it’s here.

Richard Lucas

October 2013

Addendum: Political Response

The Scottish Family Party’s policies are intended to protect children from sexualisation, in school and online.  One hopes that a strong child protection culture pervades all institutions and that all children know where to turn in case of abuse.  Checks on people working with children need to be strict.  Pro-active policing and tough sentences are vital.  Every effort to minimise, justify or normalise the evil of sexual activity involving children must be resisted forcefully. 

The state should offer support to paedophiles determined to change or suppress their attraction to children, but this must not result in mixed messages eroding the moral revulsion of wider society.    

Paedophile-hunter groups operate across the UK, including Scotland.  These citizens entrap paedophiles through online bait, arrange to meet them, then detain them awaiting arrest.  These groups do remove dangerous people, thereby protecting children, and allow justice to do done.  However, such vigilante action is fraught with risks and sets dangerous precedents.  The Police should do it themselves.

Richard Lucas

October 2025

The book discussed is Understanding and Addressing Adult Sexual Attraction to Children, By Sarah D. Goode.  Routledge.